I have thought of making this story into a cartoon, but I lack the artistic part… I thought of a re-dramatization, but would take hours of make up to turn the other person into something like the original.. Finally, I concluded should blog about it, so the whole world can enjoy my misfortune.
This story begins a few years ago… One day I received a message from “Jeff” on a dating site. According to the dating site we were close to each other (5 miles or less). From his picture he looked average, short brown hair… So, I wrote him back and we started talking.
A few messages later, I agreed to meet him. We figured out we lived pretty close, so I chose a close by restaurant. I have to confess, I was a bit paranoid, and I used to choose a restaurant I could walk to, so he couldn’t write down my license plate. Also this way I could dodge into a store afterwards and check the security monitor to see if he was following me. You know, safety first.
I always arrived 5 minutes late on first dates so I wouldn’t have to wait in case he was a little late. As I arrive to the restaurant, I get a text from him that he is running late. In his words “he didn’t think the bank would be so busy”. Nice to know… Has he never heard of a debit card? Or what was the deal? Anyway I waited for about 15 more minutes (mind you the bank was 2 blocks away) and he finally walks in.
Try to picture this: a 40 something year-old, average height, medium build, with long brown curly hair with a baseball cap on top of it. He is wearing sweat pants, a sweat shirt and a hoodie on top of it. My first thought was “are you kidding me”? As he got closer, he had several weird looking moles on his face, in sum, he looked nothing like his profile picture. I was almost sick to my stomach (I am not shallow, it just really was that bad). I understand not being able to afford a fancy suit for a date, or even a fancy shirt, but sweats!?
I hinted at him that I wasn’t feeling well (lame excuse cause i wanted to get out of there), but I was hungry and I figure I should be kind to him, you never know, it could get better… It didn’t. He started saying “I have never done something like this before”; I thought he meant go on a date with someone he met on-line, or maybe even go on a date at all considering his wardrobe choice; quickly I realized that he was under the impression that he was going to get laid. Mind you, I never even hinted at that, there was no conversation about sex whatsoever!
I finished eating, told him I wasn’t feeling well and was heading home. To give him the “this isn’t going anywhere” sign, I told him I wasn’t going to stick him with the whole bill. What I meant by that was that I was going to pay for my own meal, but before I could say anything else, he said “Thank you” and took off, so I had to pay for my meal and his!
Honestly, at this point I was relieved that he left, I just couldn’t believe this creature’s (cause at this point I don’t consider him a human being) attitude, behavior, actions, whatever you want to call it. But wait there is more. About 30 minutes later, I receive a new message from him. He says he had a great time (of course, I want a free meal too!) and he wants to know when we can hook up. Seriously!!! He used the words hook up!!! Needless to say I didn’t reply. A few hours later, he asked if he had done something wrong. Some people just don’t have a clue…